My Mind

Well, tonight time goes back an hour, and it seems to fit the pattern of my life...Things seem to fall behind.

Anyways, enough of that!

Last night after work, got together with Evan. It was a great evening. We went and grabbed something to eat, went back to his place, watched some TV, he did his webcast, and then we ended up talking until 4:30 in the morning. I then sleepily drove back home, and went to bed. I truly do enjoy the time I get to spend with him, and look forward to the day when it is easier to do, and more time is available to us. Since we both seem to be in the midst of chaos, for now things are what they are, but I am optimistic for the future!

I was supposed to go into work today, but that didn't happen. Oh well, there is always tomorrow!

I did get around to getting ready for Halloween. I even carved a jack o' lantern!

It seems sort of odd, doesn't it, that oil companies, of all companies, are screwing us without lube?!?! I mean come on, who better to at least oil it up a bit?

Exxon Mobil announced 3rd quarter profits of $9.9 billion!!! Now, is it just me, or does that seem a bit odd? I mean, supposedly they were not price gouging us. Supposedly the price hikes were due to loss of production due to storms, yet somehow they managed to turn the largest quarterly profit in history!

Unfortunately, the American public has become so pathetically complacent that nothing will be done about it. Most of the American sheeple will have a moment of grumbling, and then just fall back into the drone of their proletariat existence.

In a way, it almost makes you wonder. In this society of pill popping automatons (be it prescribed or street drugs), is it even truly worth being fully cognitive and aware?

I will probably expand upon this a bit more later......

I have decided on moral grounds, to stop shopping at j.crew. They had been one of my favourite stores, until they recently began to sell fur products. I cannot and will not do business with any company that supports such cruelty to animals. I encourage anyone reading this to contact j.crew to let them know that such practices will NOT BE TOLERATED!! You can e-mail them at contactus@jcrew.com.

The following is from PETA

Well, the past week has basically been a non-event. Outside of working, there was nothing really exciting on the agenda, and the week seemed to coast on by.

I know I am always complaining about IDOT, but I think I have truly reached the breaking point. I spent 20 hours this week just commuting to and from work. That is absolutely ridiculous!!! I now spend half as much time driving as I actually do working! No wonder I have no energy to do anything after work.

Last night though, I decided to go out to dinner with Jason. Instead of battling the insane gridlock, I just took surface streets to the city, met up with him, parked the car, and decided to go with good ole CTA. I forgot just how busy Cesars can be on a Friday night, but a 30 minute wait is worth it for their food and margaritas!! After that, just took the train back to Jason's, picked up the car, and headed home.

Not 100% sure what the game plan is for the weekend yet. I just woke up a short while ago. Yesterday afternoon, Evan called and mentioned possibly hanging out sometime this weekend. That would be a really nice treat, so I will wait and see when I hear back from him. Otherwise, it will probably be cleaning the house, doing some laundry, and just vegging out.

We shall see....

First off, a Very Happy Birthday to my sister Christine!!!!! You may be the baby, but I was still the first!!! LOL

Weekend was blah. Actually, it was beyond blah! I didn't even get out of bed all weekend, and not even in that good, you don't wanna get outta bed kinda way, if you know what I mean! So I basically have nothing really new to talk about, unless you want to know about the horrible films that were on over the weekend, which managed to pull me in LOL.

Hopefully this week will be more energetic, and entertaining!

Well, there is some potentially good news on the job front. I have heard from one of the companies I applied to. They sent me a pre-employment questionaire, which I returned, and I have been notified that I should be hearing from HR in a few days to set up an interview. This is the best news I have had in quite a while! The job is in the heart of downtown, which means I would be able to put an end to my daily 100 mile commute! Hell, I wouldn't have to drive at all for other than personal purposes. Add to that, it is a great company that understands work/life balance! My fingers are crossed!!

Speaking of the 100 mile daily commute....With all of the road work going on, it has now gotten to the point where it is taking me 2 hours each way to get to work!! I hate IDOT!!!!

Last night, I had plans to get together with a friend, but after dealing with the traffic, I was drained, and ended up falling asleep shortly after getting home. I want my life back!!!!!

Today will probably be spent cleaning up around the house, and then hopefully getting out for a bit this evening.

Music Video Codes By VideoCodeZone.com

Well kiddos, its been a few since last I wrote. I am a tired bitch! I haven't been sleeping well for going on a week now. Not quite sure what is up with that. One thing I am sure of, I am OVER all the damned road work going on!! I now spend 4 hours a day just driving to and from my job!! Normally, it is about 50 minutes each way! Last Friday, it took me 2 1/2 hours just to get to work. The Illinois Dept. of Transportation are obviously not the best planners!

The weekend was mostly a blah bust! Had the final measurements done on the windows. They will be installed in 4 weeks. Came into the office for a while, went home, and crashed. Sunday was spent running errands and shopping.

I can't wait till I actually have a life again!

Oh, lest I forget, a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend Derwin in South Carolina!!

"When the celestial leads the earthly, the celestial is not overcome by the earthly but rather controls the earthly. Practicing obedience in danger is the way to prepare against misery. The reason people have misery is that they are able to handle favorable situations but not unfavorable situations. If one can deal with unfavorable situations harmoniously, then even unfavorable situations become acceptable, and there is no missery."

"When people are not able to make progress on the path of sages, it is because they are competitive and contentious, emotional and greedy, not knowing how to improve themselves and correct their errors."

"If one is incapable of self-examination, one will not have self-mastery, and will be subject to manipulation; every step, will entail danger and difficulty, will involve injury to life. Only by self-examination can one abondon the false and enter the real; not being deluded by externals, with every step one's feet then tread the real ground and virtue can be culivated."

"When virtue is cultivated, one's nature is stabilized and feelings are forgotten, so that one is unshakable and unwavering as a mountain. Not halted by obstacles, one cannot be injured by difficulties and troubles."

"Using virtue to ward off danger, danger dissolves; using danger to cultivate character, virtuous action grows daily more lofty. So obstacles can not faze one - indeed, it is after being halted by obstacles that one can cultivate character and virtue. If students can recognize the reality of self-examination, there is no need to worry about halting, and no need to worry about inability to develop virtue."

"The human body is like a country, and the mind is like the ruler; the vitality, spirit, nature, feeling, and energy in the body are like the people; benevolence, justice, courtesy, knowledge, and truthfulness in the 'nature' are like the masses. These people, these masses, are the bases of human life, and must be protected and cared for. Therefore the root is stabilized by embracing the people, external afflictions are prevented by nurturing the masses."

"Inward mastery protects one from externals; managing externals affords one inner peace."

"Just as the sun sets and also rises, in the same way people can obscure their good qualities and also can illumine them."

"To illumine means to make manifest; the quality of enlightenment is the spiritual nature of innate knowledge and innate capacity that is fundamental to humankind. This nature is originally truly open, subtly existing, radiantly bright, without obscurity; but once it is mixed with acquired temperment, it goes from clarity to obscurity and loses its basic nature."

"But if unclarity comes from oneself, so also does clarity come from oneself; it is just a matter of whether one illumines this nature by oneself or not."

"The Taoist I Ching" translated by Thomas Cleary

Ok, the fact that I was wide awake at 4:30 this morning was bad enough, but now my ass is about to fall asleep in the office, and I have to be here till 7:00 PM. Then, to add to that misery, I was foolish enough to have a turkey sub for lunch. Aren't I just genius?!? LOL

Was able to get the Window Guys (that is actually the name of the company) to do the final measurements 3 weeks earlier than originally scheduled, so that is definitely a good thing, since the sooner that is done, the sooner the windows can be installed.

I really need to take a day or two off to just recharge my batteries!

I must say, the Universe takes extreme delight in throwing random shit at me.

Called Evan yesterday, to see how things were going. On Sunday when I spoke with him, the clutch on his car had gone out, and yesterday he was getting it repaired. He told me to call him back a little later on. I did, and left a message, and still haven't heard anything back. I envy people who can do their own car repairs. Hopefully things are working out for him.

Nothing new on the job search. I continue to submit my resume, looking for something closer to home and/or with better pay and benefits. Wish me luck!

On the NY front, was checking out the website of a club I used to frequent when I still lived back home, and stumbled across a picture of my ex, Tymus. The only way to describe the relationship we had (have) was the typical high school break up, make up couple. The twisted thing is, we always seem to harbour feelings for eachother, and if you put us in close proximity, our gravities tend to pull eachother together. Of course, the predictable emotional rollercoaster ensues, and then we don't speak for months, or years, until the next ride begins. Well, the last time I saw him was back in January, when I had gone back home for a few days to check on Matthew after his surgery. Below is a picture from January.

Well, in the picture I saw on the club's website.....well, all I can say is, I am concerned. You ever get that odd feeling when you look at something, and can just tell something is not quite right? That is the feeling I got after seeing the picture. I tried to call him, but his phone comes up as temporarily disconnected, which only adds to the level of concern. The second picture is the picture in question (in case this does its odd thing, the picture of just him is the recent one which generated concern). Now perhaps it is just me, and the fact I have known him for close to 10 years, as well as some other general knowledge I possess, but the picture, to me, generates concern.

Again, only time will tell, but I am hoping that everything is ok........

Happy Monday!

Well, the past few days have mostly been non-events. Friday night, went to dinner with Shar and Karin at this great Thai place in Skokie called Tub Tim Thai.

Saturday, brought both cats to the vet for check ups. And that is about as much time as I spent out of the house.

To be perfectly honest, I really had no energy to really do much of anything. I still honestly don't, but had to get up and bring myself to work.

I have been having some MAJOUR mood swings lately, and really need to get that under control. Stress is not cute!

More to follow......(perhaps)